In every quest, there will be dead ends and disappointments. So it is with this particular adventure, which took place shortly before my friends and I dispersed from the Bay Area for a long, long while. Being disappointed isn't a feature new to urban exploration but I figured that I would tell it because it was so ironic, involved so much prior planning and seemed almost foolproof as an opportunity for adventure from the very beginning.
My day began as most days do, at my desk checking the news and making sure that there weren't any obligations I had to fulfill for the day before I was free to trot about the world. Of course, there weren't and that was when I began an intensive and systematic search for interesting locations with a local watershed map for features that oft attract any urban explorer's attention: parts of canals and waterways where they had been diverted underground for the benefit of real estate and sometimes it seems for people like me. Anyways, after about an hours' search I located a promising site that was relatively near to me in terms of being only across town by a modest 20 minutes' bicycle ride. I prepped my kit and called up a good friend of mine and asked him if he wanted to come. Arrangements were made, and we agreed to meet by public transportation within the hour. Little did I know that our travails were just about to begin.
My friend, who is extremely athletically fit and usually has access to a reasonable source of transportation in the form of a bike, unfortunately had to borrow a younger sibling's bike because... well, his bike simply wasn't there to use. Let's just call my friend Craig. This smaller bike was minuscule. His knees were bent at 90 degree angles and he was able to do maybe 10 mph on it, whereas we usually ride at about 20 (and thus our journey time was lengthened by 2 times). Another problem was that he was so low that I think it would have been dangerous for him to ride on the road, which we did anyways (but I guess I was there so it was okay). Those concerns aside, we soon were making our slow and steady way to site, located on the outskirts of an huge retirement complex.
As we were going so much more slowly, the journey took us a long while and we nearly ended up getting lost multiple times but never to the point of complete loss because of a handy dandy tool called an iPhone. Speaking of which, I would also like a portable GPS unit but that would be bad for the spirit of adventure, would it not? Anyhow, the retirement home was a gated community (much to our mutual surprise) but we managed to get inside by sneakily riding past the delivery persons' entrance. Once inside, we were constantly harassed by senile drivers who knew less where they were going than how to heckle us. Several hills and a whole bottle of water later, we were nearing the edge of the complex but thirsty as dogs. I guess not all old people are bad because one man approached us and told us we looked like thieves. We asked him where to find water because we were so thirsty and without a second thought he told us. Even if we were thieves I wouldn't have stolen stuff after that... What kind of sick bastard gets any pleasure from stealing from old people?
Lastly, there was the issue of getting out of the complex into the wilderness surrounding the facility. This was only a problem because... the entire thing was surrounded by the most legitimate barbed wire I have ever seen and we were both in shorts, had little equipment (I guess I also need a serious pair of cutters) and were hot and miserable. After about 15 minutes of careful deliberation, we found a decent place to cross over... My friend, who is ninja, made the trip safely but I snagged my knee on a spike so I now have a lovely long line of red on that particular pair of shorts. It was so sharp, however, I didn't feel anything. I also have my tetanus booster so I think I should be okay.
I also found out that I have an immunity to poison ivy on this trip. We tried following the creek bed to the tunnel mouth but it was too densely overgrown... guess with what? Hence we had to get the hell back out of that trench and we just followed it by the side until to our disappointment it vanished rather rapidly, exactly where the tunnel was supposed to be. Scratched, cut, bruised and now a little bit more than pissed we looked around grassed area a while before I kicked something that rather felt like stone... only fixed very solidly in place. It turns out that that was the tunnel entrance we were looking for. With a little more excavation, the 'entrance' showed itself to be a dead end. Stonewalled and decorated with a little plaque commemorating the date of its sealing. Well, fuck.
I guess you can't have everything in life. I always thought that if you fought for it, you could get it. That day, I learned the last third of that lesson: I can only get it if it's still there.
Happy exploring and until next time,
-Jason Jamboozled
